The Value of Friendship

"Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 10.

While Friendship can pose danger threats, as some say, friends is like a green snake on the green grass; can give bad advice, double-cross us, hurt us, and even lead us away from the Lord. Friendship are also valuable as they can give love and support, encouragements, specific help, and even criticism that will helps us grow in Character and other areas of our lives. 

Reaching the zenith of your career, personal life, etc, might be a difficult one or an easy stroll depending on the people you meet in life and are friends.  Relationship has a major role to play in our achieving purpose in life. We could look back into our life in retrospect and discover how much impact or failure friendship could be. 

We could see the value of friendship between Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-18). Friendship that is  not easy to give up even at the end of their life. Friendship that remains even in obstacles and difficult times, friendship with united principles and understanding, friendship that is not idealistic but realistic to both parties.

Another example of good and strong relationship can be found in Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 20:41-41). They were committed with their friendship. And because of their commitment to each other only death can separate them. 

Les Brown said, “There are two types of relationship; Nurturnal relationship and toxic relationship. Nurturnal relationship nurses you, helps you, challenges you, brings the best out of you, holds you accountable, and it keeps you focused. While toxic relationship drains you” Whatever you become is as a result of the relationship you are into. Who do you move with? Who is your best friend? Whose advice do you respect the most? That friend in your life according to Fela Durotoye does one of these things: Adds to you, Takes away from you, Multiplies you or Divides you into pieces.

Most people today, especially young men and women don't care about the kind of people they move with and the kind of impact these people have over their lives. They move with the wrong set of people, listen to the wrong set of people and still expect their lives to be in any way better than before? Scripture says "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17). When you give your attention and ear time to the word of God, faith in the word of God is born. When you give your attention and ear time to the word of man, faith in the word of man is born. Our eyes and ears are the gate way to our heart. What we hear often, goes into our heart and develops inside of us and therefore forms our outside and circumstances. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, the Bible says (Proverbs 23:7). 

One could have a great and promising future but the kinds of relationships and friends they keep could destroy their wonderful dreams and aspirations. Great men and mere men are made by the kind of friends they keep. Fela Durotoye once said, “Show me your friend and I will tell you where you are going” He reiterated that your friends are the reflection of your future. What you will become in life can be determined by the kinds of friends you move with. Apostle Joshua Selman said "if your life is not uncommon to drive certain kinds of people in your life, it simply means that you don't have values and principles".

“It is better to live with a wise enemy than a foolish friend“.

Friendship is a choice. You can’t blame anybody for the kind of friends you have. It is your choice! There are few aspects of our life that we may not be able to make choices - you can’t determine the kind of family you're born into, but the friends in your life are your choice. Every one may not like you. What you need is the right people that God had sent to help you fulfill his purposes for your life. 

There are three kinds of people or relationships you may meet in life according to their motives:

• Those who genuinely love you: You're the object of their attraction or passion and not necessarily your possessions. Their commitment to you is not because you are rich, or you are in a position of authority but to you as a person, not your skills or gifts. It is difficult to find men in this category, it may be your spouse. Job was the wealthiest man on earth but the only person that stood by him was the wife even though she communicated her frustration. This type of commitment can be seen in David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi. Do you have friends that can fast and pray for your success? Don't sit and wait for friends like that, you can also be same for someone - a loving friend. 
• Those who love what you have, where you're going or what you represent and not your person. Their commitment is to your vision, gifts and not to you. They are deceptive because they appear as number 1 people above but the difference is their motives. They are dangerous because they love what what you do and hope that there partnership would benefit them. About 90% of people fall under this category. There attraction is to a thing and not the person. If the person eventually fails or wouldn't benefit them again, they leave in a hurry as soon as they found better ways. 
• Those who do not love you nor what you represent but will partner with you against their bigger enemy. The Scribes and the Pharisees never agreed on many grounds but they came together as a team to crucify Jesus. They hated Barnabas before Jesus came but demanded his release and the crucifixion of Jesus. 

Finally, be loyal to your future than to your past. I have a friendship assessment Homework for you, this is it - sit down and make a list of the friends in your life and indicate if these people have been an addition, a subtraction, a multiplication or a division in your life. Does that relationship make you grow spiritually, financially, mentally and intellectually? Do these people challenge you and daily bring the best out of you or do they drain you and you see your self-worth vanish as the day goes by? Some friends are a blessing while some are curses. You need to decide for yourself either the relationship is a productive one or an unproductive one and cut yourself from the unproductive ones for the sake of your future.

“Look at the people in your life and ask this question, ‘What is this relationship doing to me?” Jim Rohn 

Friendship is your Choice! Never blame anybody for bringing out the worst in you.